YOUR INVITATION TO REFINER'S PLAYGROUND
January 15-16, 2026
Lake Lawn Resort, Delavan, WI 53115
262.728.7950
Ask for Refiners Playground rate
Cutoff date: December 16, 2025
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Selfless Self as Sculpture
Releasing all we are not
As a sculptor, Michelangelo ( 1475–1564 ) taught us how he envisions his work. He imagined the finished piece inside the marble and then cut away everything that is not the the finished sculpture. What kind of vision is it that sees and knows the perfect form something is to take and brings it into its complete form? Who or what has this kind of extraordinary capacity? Is it a capacity only a renown artist can possess?
Some argue that we come into our perfect form only after we die. Our soul may be the artist. In the visible world we need others if we are to live in congruence with our perfect form. We assist each other in seeing, accepting and releasing all of what we are not as we become what we always have been and already are.
The Swan
This clumsy living that moves lumbering
as if in ropes through what is not done,
reminds us of the awkward way the swan walks.
And to die, which is the letting go
of the ground we stand on and cling to every day,
is like the swan, when he nervously lets himself down
into the water, which receives him gaily
and which flows joyfully under
and after him, wave after wave,
while the swan, unmoving and marvelously calm,
is pleased to be carried, each moment more fully grown,
more like a king, further and further on.
(Rainier Rilke, translated by Robert Bly)
Much of poet Rainier Rilke’s work touches on a similar theme, the release of what we are not — old, outdated notions of who and what we think we are — so the true form can come foreward. Above, we have a swan nervously letting go of the ground it stands on and clings to. The water receives it ‘gaily’, flowing ‘joyfully under and around it’ while the swan ‘grows more fully’ while calmly carried by the water. In daily life it is easy to cling to notions of who and what we are and where we belong or don’t belong. We say I am this way or that. Even when temporary emotions wash over us we claim, I am angry or upset. We are not these emotions any more than we are our beliefs about ourselves. We are something more, something changeless.
US Poet Laureate William Stafford (1914-1993) points to the changeless aspects of ourselves in his poem, The Way It Is:
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
In a world of constant change there are things that don’t change and don’t need to. They are hidden within the things that do change. The statute was always there in the marble. The unchanging thread within us has always been there. We require others to see and help us accept it.
Swans are not meant to waddle around on ground. They are meant to float and fly. We are not meant to waddle around imprisoned by small beliefs about who we are.
In this Winter gathering of The Refiners Playground we want to explore more deeply the refining process of letting go of what we are not so that what we actually are is made more visible, more accessible. Let’s receive each other gaily, like the water and the swan.
We expect this to be a rich, intimate conversation among friends. Winter in Wisconsin. Bring sunscreen, beach towels and sandals. You won’t need them but the look on others’ faces will be worth it.
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2026 dates
January 15-16, Delavan, WI
April 23-24, Delavan, WI
July 16-17, TBD
October 15-16, Delavan, WI
WHAT IS THE REFINER'S PLAYGROUND?
We are an open community of spiritual explorers who meet on a quarterly basis to share our current learning, questions about and experiments on the nature of reality. In particular, we seek to know the True Self directly while examining all of the hilarious ways we try to be something other than this! Our two day retreats are typically attended by 18-20 people from around the country. The dialogue is rich, at times profound, always compassionate and frequently hilarious. Come as frequently as you like and stay for as long as you like.
WHAT HAPPENS IN A TYPICAL GATHERING?
We meet in groups that range from 18-20 people. We share our stories of what we understand through direct experience and/or are currently learning through our own active experiments on the nature of being. There are no long-winded speeches or dazzling intellectual discourses. We tend not to agree or disagree with each other and seldom give others advice. We have no front of the room instructors or teachers as we all serve this role. We find that when we share our experiences with one another, as co-explorers- we each become more clear and confident about taking our next steps.
WHAT WE CURRENTLY KNOW
People who most benefit from the "Playground" are those who have:
A life long yearning to know what is true about themselves and the universe.
Grown tired of the typical self-help menu with its implied assumption there is some "defect" in us that requires improvement.
Believed more licenses, degrees or certifications will leave them finally and forever feeling "enough".
Many years' experience feeling alone, judged, misunderstood and have simply grown tired of this. And even more tired at having contributed to or led the charge themselves!
If you have experience with any of the above, welcome to the club! You will likely enjoy the solid food of the "Playground". The hard truth is that no amount of suffering or achievement can satisfy the deeper longing tugging at our soul. Our secret desire is wholeness and only our essential nature knows how to weave the fragments we present it into a coherent whole. Our hard work and effort to fix ourselves usually make matters worse, or at least continues the entertainment.
There is another way.
WELCOME
You are welcomed to come for as many sessions as you like and can leave whenever you like. Regardless of how much experience you have with deeper work, you will likely find in the Refiner's Playground a quality of dialogue and loving presence unlike anything you have ever experienced before.
INVESTMENT
$695 per session (includes breakfast and lunch). $2,495 when you sign up for the next four events. A savings of $285!
Bring a family member, partner, significant other at no additional cost!
Your Trusted Guides
Jim and Dan bring a half-century of experience wading around the inner landscape of human experience in ways that result in greater light, buoyancy, presence and power. We each have our unique spiritual path. We come in not as experts or even as facilitators who speak from the front of the room but as guides who walk alongside. We're aware of the terrain but cannot predict what will happen. Hence, the focus on playful experimentation.
The Refiner's Playground is:
“Time to lay down the armaments we use to fix ourselves and to come home. There is an un-changing center within us that isn’t concerned with anything other than NOW. I often see and recognize the Essential that lurks beneath those moments we naturally resist. I speak directly to it and am learning how to move with it and allow it more play in myself and in us. I am here to usher in an intimate, liberating partnership with the Essential in each all of us! We ARE this!” - Dan Holden
The Refiner's Playground offers us:
“A unique opportunity to embrace the perfection each life experience offers in burning away the dross of our deluded self perceptions, allowing the true, infinite, essential beings that we are to find fuller creative expression now. I am here to playfully master the art of finding, mining and refining the very best in us, allowing it to creatively express itself in response to the perfect challenge or opportunity that presents itself in each moment.” - Jim Anderson